Retconlove, or: How I learned to stop whining and ignore the crap Article by aviewaskewed, 09:23 PM 31st Jan Disclaimer: The following column is entirely the opinions of the author (even at that we aren‘t sure), any similarity to the opinions of any other staff or affiliate of theendlesscrew.com is entirely coincidental and unintentional. Unless specifically noted otherwise, all creator comments have been gleaned from other sources and no creators have actually endorsed any aspect of this column. If I didn’t own this site, I’d have fired my wishy washy self by now. So, a little bit about last week and why there was no column. Basically, I didn’t feel very good last week, overly tired, and I started to believe I was getting sick, and I also had some personal dramas to take care of. I however had intended to try and put something out on Friday when I picked up the last issue of the Bendis/Maleev DD run talking about that, and what I thought of that. Figured it’d be shorter then the original topic, but at least you got something. However, my shop is in the process of moving, and were not open Friday, so I won’t actually get it till next Wednesday. With everything in the toilet, I just didn’t get to one, so now you’ll get the column I had intended for last Monday written up for today. The topic? Retcons, and why people need to stop getting all upset about most of them. I say most, not all. I thought this was a pretty good topic for two reasons: one, Infinite Crisis is all about doing retcons while still trying to push into the future. Two, it’s something that has been coming up when I’ve talked to other fans, and I get tired of the reasoning. For most people, it seems like they don’t like the idea of “invalidating” certain stories, is more a matter about preserving “continuity” vs. having stories that really matter to the character, or to the person in question, feel like they matter to history. If that sounds stupid to you, there’s a very good reason for that…it is stupid. Totally, and utterly stupid. No matter who says or doesn’t say a story is in-continuity, the story still exists for you. There’s a pretty fun little story DC did way back during a JLA/JSA team-up pre-Crisis called “Crisis on Earth-A”. In this story, JSA bumbler Johnny Thunder realizes (later then everyone else, in typical Johnny Thunder fashion) that if there’s versions of people on both earths, they’re must be a Johnny Thunder on Earth-1. So Johnny tells his magic Thunderbolt (through the magic Bahdnisian Hex-words “Cei-U” which when pronounced sound exactly like “Say You”, not that you needed to know that…I just always thought that was cool), to take him to the Johnny of Earth-1, which the put upon bolt (Hey, you try being a magic genie taking your marching orders from a dunderhead for about 20 years or so at that point, and you see how your disposition is) promptly does. Well, seems the Johnny of Earth-1 hasn’t had a good life really, he screwed up his training and didn’t get a Thunderbolt, and he’s fallen on some pretty hard times. So, being smarter and meaner then Johnny, he steals the Thunderbolt and decides to embark on a crime wave. But he knows the JLA will stop him and his newly formed gang, so he has the Thunderbolt go back in time and make sure the League never comes to get their powers (which leads to some fun segments where he diverts the rocket from Krypton, stops Abin Surr’s ship from crashing, and so on and so forth). But the Earth-2 Justice Society find out the League is missing (as it happens to be that time of year where the vibrational boundaries have broken down enough so that they can cross Earth’s and hang out with their Leaguer pals), and decide to impersonate the Earth-1 League with Dr. Fate assisting the JSA’ers in mimicking the appearance and powers of the League where necessary. The evil Johnny is freaked out, and perplexed that his plan didn’t work right, but he makes the Thunderbolt explain about the switch, so he has the bolt go back and have the members of his gang get the super powers of the vanished Leaguers. The JSA beat them, and chase the evil Johnny to the moon (with a funny bit about the Bolt thinking he’s safe from having to listen to this evil Johnny’s commands because there’s no air on the moon so he can’t talk, but he writes in the moon dust that the bolt needs to add oxygen). In the end, the bad Johnny decides it’s more trouble then it’s worth, and wishes everything back to the way it was, and that he never met the Thunderbolt, or his Earth-2 counterpart. It’s a fun little story you can find in Crisis on Multiple Earth’s volume 1, and until Infinite Crisis made clear that the parallel DC earths concept did happen, and it was fair game to talk about this stuff again, this story was almost definitely out of continuity due to the post-Crisis retcons. But I read this story many years later, re-printed, and I don’t think it’s not being in the continuity hurt it one little bit. It’s not robbed of anything by not having the people involved sitting around in some issue of either JLA or JSA going “hey, remember that time that boob Johnny Thunder got us all written out of existence?” Who honestly gives a crap about stuff like that? The story is still good (or bad, after all, your taste may very from mine) on it’s own, without needing some modern writer or editor telling me it was good. But let’s contrast that with a storyline that was so irksome to me, I made an editorial comment about it a couple years back, before we had the rant columns done. That being the “Gwen Stacy sleeps with Norman Osborne” story. This was a retcon that was unnecessary, and in the eyes of many (myself included) tarnished the memory of a beloved character. Whether someone like Stracyzinski likes it or not, Gwen has become more then just Spider-Man’s first love, she has in the course of time become a symbol of innocence in the comics medium, and a very painful example of when the hero doesn’t manage to save the girl (go read a reprint of Gwen’s death and then come back and tell me that it wasn’t the sort of rare and powerful classic that any writer would love to have on their resume). Not to mention her death as a symbol of “innocence lost” was a big part of the ending of Marvels, now with this storyline, some people will forever look at her, and see the leering face of Norman Osborne, and judge it as “cheating bitch got what she had coming”. There are some characters that need to be left in the grave, that they serve a greater purpose dead, and if one is going to drag them out, and tell a story that make them not perfect (I.E. When Alfred tells Batman a story of something his father did criminal during the No Man’s Land event) the writer needs to be very careful that they are not messing up that person’s ability to still be a symbol of good, and motivation in the characters life (again, Alfred shows how Thomas Wayne does the right thing in the end). This story doesn’t in my opinion serve a purpose to do that, it’s just shock value that has done nothing but irk the long time fans it had hoped to rope in. That is an example of when retcon is unneeded and goes too far. But there’s my point, many fans are not making this distinction. They take ANY sort of change they don’t like as criminal and damaging. Hey, they didn’t take that story away from you, not really. The story or stories you loved are still there, they’re still in your collections, they’re still on file to be reprinted, and no one can take that away from you (you know, long as you don’t leave them around someone who might want to steal them). I do agree that the people in charge of these characters lives have a responsibility to safeguard their history, and to not do anything that would negatively impact them, or destroy their potency (if nothing else convinces them of this fact, it’s just simply bad business). But at the same token, it’s our task to keep the faith in these characters ourselves, if we love them enough, we can ignore the bad decisions that are visited upon them, and maybe even have them wiped away eventually (concepts like the JSA, The JLA, and others are proof positive that this isn’t just some idle theory, it’s proven fact). Love the characters, stop worrying about the horrible stuff visited upon them, and always, ALWAYS vote on the direction of your favorites in the best way the publishers understand…with your wallet. Some thoughts on events around comics and the world: Infinite Crisis #4: Very late I know, but I think the series is really humming along. It’s got a great groundswell of interest, and while I’m still feeling a bit like Johns may still be juggling too much to really make this book feel solid and tight as a story, he is certainly completing the mission statements of redefining the DCU, and what it means to be a hero in it. I think there was a great Batman moment here, and since it happened in such a big event, I’m hopeful that it will not simply be ignored like when Rucka and Brubaker had him breaking down a bit, and realizing what an asshole he’d become. I’m not saying I want the Silver Age happy go lucky Batman back…but he’s become too dark and unlikeable over the last few years, and I think it’s time somebody figure out how to balance his darkness with a sense of humanity as well. I also thought the rampage by Superboy-Prime was a shocking, and sickening moment, but in the right kind of way, it’s a horrible act…but it has such an element of tragedy to it as well, as your really looking at someone who has lost so much, and just wants to do the right thing, but is going about it in entirely the wrong way. Good stuff all around, and it makes me want to see what happens next issue (especially since it’ll be time for the two Supermen to square off). Exiles reminds me why I love the X-Men: I’ve been picking up Exiles trades after numerous recommendations and I must say it’s a great, great book. Because it focuses on mutants of multiple earths, brought together because their timelines have been altered in some way that will leave them dead, injured, or having never existed, you don’t have to worry about tons of backstory to catch up on (even Blink who DOES have backstory thanks to her Age of Apocalypse origins, isn’t a hard character get a grasp on). Not to mention there’s just a lot of fun in that good old fashioned “What if?” sense of them hopping from reality to reality, and seeing who’s good, who’s bad, and what they need to do to set things right. It also manages to drive home the core theme of many X-books, the idea of strangers fighting together, and forming a family unit. I strongly recommend everyone who likes the mutant concept, or was a fan of Quantum Leap (as I am) at least give this book a one trade commitment (the first volume is called “Down the Rabbit Hole” for the interested). State of the Union: 22 minutes in, and it’s been a bunch of lies and half-truths, it’s funny if you try not to focus on the fact that this guy is in control of the country. There’s not much else I have to say other then what anyone who knows how to get good reliable information already knows about this. By the way, if you hear the sound of a toilet in the background, that’s just a bunch of American ideals getting flushed, nothing the administration wants you to be concerned with. Back to Rants